When W was a few years old we got a Peter Alsop cassette from the library [ no colorful dinosaur songs for my kid, I'd decided]. He loved the songs and so did I. They were funny but some were also poignant to me. This is one of the funny ones that always stuck in my head and I would find myself humming. After our recent exposure to T.V [ that I have already ranted about here ] I was reminded of this song. Unfortunately the library no longer has it but I have requested that they purchase the CD so we will wait and see if they get it. Hopefully you will get a chuckle out of the lyrics to his song below. If you are interested in his other songs check out his website.
YOU GET A LITTLE EXTRA WHEN YOU WATCH T.V.
You get a little extra when you watch T.V.
Ain't that ducky!
Well you're lucky if you see that
You get a little extra when you watch T.V.!
You sit too close and you get a big surprise
Lots of radiation in your body and your eyes
Your eardrums hum when someone turns it up too high,
When you watch T.V.!
We learn lots about our bodies and our aches and pains,
Headaches, hemorrhoids, heartburn, diarrhea, denture stains
Gotta buy more drugs t'stop your stresses and your strains
When you watch T.V. !
Chorus
When someone in an advertisement tells me lies
I jump up and switch the channels, and I get some exercise
So my body's getting healthy and my mind is getting wise
When I watch T.V.!
Daddies only love the Mommies when the dirt's all gone
From their shirts and shiny floors, the coffee has t'be right on,
I'm so glad my Dad's not fussy, cause he'd leave my Mom,
If he watched T.V.!
Chorus
In real life it never works when people go
And hit and kick and punch and smash each other's heads and toes
But it always solves the problems on the cartoon shows
When you watch T.V.!
Last night on the highway when our car got stalled
We saw a bloody accident with bodies that were mauled
Though my folks got sick, it didn't bother me at all.
Cause I watch T.V.!
Chorus
If you think that I am lazy, don't you call me names
I have learned important skills from playing video games
If a spaceship should attack me I could shoot 'em down in flames,
Cause I watch T.V.!
And a big T.V. can really give you quite a rest
If you get one near your bed, you've got no reason to get dressed
You never have to talk to anyone, your life is a success
When you watch T.V.!
Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI)
4 comments:
I'd never heard that one before - I think I'll copy it and mail it to my kids!
I was thinking about it - I'm really not anti-tv because thanks to my tv, I have been able to visit places that I will probably never get to (whether it be Tahiti with Ian, a termites nest with David or a road trip with Ewan and Charley). However, I am extremely anti-crap and sadly, this is what fills our tv screen on cable television. Crap is what the higher ups in tv-land think we want to watch. People seem to enjoy watching gossip and false relationships and lying - well, I went to public school so I don't need to go through all that again. I also loathe commercials, celebrity gossip, and violence. I guess I'll have to be getting my tv time through DVD.
Do I hear a potential rant coming on Samantha? C'mon, you know you want to. Let's hear it!
You know I am agreement with you, I like my travels with those men too (wink, wink) and I also am anti-crap.
Ha, me? rant?
There isn't enough space in this blog for all I could rant about. But I'm doing my relaxing deep breathing and am trying to remember I can't fix everything in this world.
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