Tuesday, 6 November 2007

35 days without complaining

Have you seen this? I heard about it from Maristar. Can you imagine how hard it would be for most of us to go even one day without complaining or criticizing or whining or gossiping?

I see that Christine used an example of stating your feelings which is similar to Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication model - they call it "giraffe" talk. In "giraffe" we use this guide - Observations, Feelings, Needs, Requests. When you start using it, it sounds very stilted and strange. Here's an example of the old method of communication, "You always leave stuff all over your floor, it's a pigsty, go clean your room or you won't get on the computer today." (Mmmhmm, sounds like me!) Here's the alternative, "When I see those toys on your floor, I feel irritated because I have a need for order. Would you be willing to put your toys away before bedtime tonight?" Of course, to those of us who tend to be controlling (sheepish grin) and want others (especially kids) to just do what we demand, the possibility and reality of hearing a "no" is hard to deal with!

Anyway, I have decided to take on the challenge. I start today. It's not going to be easy but that's what makes it worth doing.


Samantha said...

I read about this on another blog and thought it was a great idea! I'll start right now with you :-)

Nicola said...

That's great Samantha. I have made it through a whole day and it feels so good!

this is my patch said...

I get enough of complaining, criticizing, whining and gossiping around me at work everyday. I can't wait to get home most days. I do try to use this approach you describe when asking my other half if he could do something around the home, it really does work doing it this way and not using nagging techniques like his mother would have done! x

Anonymous said...

Way to go Nicola. It is so challenging but so worth it. I like what she says about it forcing us to act like adults by asking for what we need! That rings so true for me.I'm with you!